Who's Online Now
0 registered members (), 13 guests, and 0 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Statistics
Forums12
Topics3,443
Posts13,203
Members7,064
Most Online175
Sep 26th, 2012
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
MT Bloopers II #11860
02/17/11 02:32 AM
02/17/11 02:32 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 68
India
francissand360 Offline OP
Seasoned Gabber
francissand360  Offline OP
Seasoned Gabber
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 68
India
The following are actual, unedited, notes written by doctors on
patientsí medical charts:

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.

2. On the second day the knee was better,
and on the third day it disappeared completely.

3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
she was very hot in bed last night.

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in
1993.

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

7. Healthy appearing, decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.

8. The patient refused an autopsy.

9. The patient has no past history of suicides.

10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patientís past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
with only a forty pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
pregnant.

14. Since she canít get pregnant with her husband, I thought you
might like to work her up.

15. She is numb from her toes down.

16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life
until she got a divorce.

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.

23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a
job as a stockbroker instead.

27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should
sit on the abdomen, and I agree.

30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

32. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

33. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

34. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

35. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.

36. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

37. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

38. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

39. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

40. Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.


A history joke
I'm learning ancient history?
So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times!

Hector, Francis
Re: MT Bloopers II [Re: francissand360] #12812
08/16/11 08:09 PM
08/16/11 08:09 PM
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 1
Rochester, MA
T
TinaZ Offline
Newbie Gabber
TinaZ  Offline
Newbie Gabber
T
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 1
Rochester, MA
Thanks for the laughs! These are great! #24 is my favorite!

Last edited by TinaZ; 08/16/11 08:10 PM.
Re: MT Bloopers II [Re: TinaZ] #12843
08/20/11 02:17 AM
08/20/11 02:17 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 8
Virginia, USA
K
Kmouse Offline
Newbie Gabber
Kmouse  Offline
Newbie Gabber
K
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 8
Virginia, USA
I love these! They are so funny!

Re: MT Bloopers II [Re: francissand360] #14394
11/14/11 12:58 AM
11/14/11 12:58 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 447
Minnesota
L
Lakelife Offline
Supreme Gabber
Lakelife  Offline
Supreme Gabber
L
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 447
Minnesota
Sounds like some of the things I have heard while listening to dictation for this course. crazy

Just too funny !!!!!!! smirk


A moving target is hard to hit. I am never going to get old. If I keep moving, old age can not catch up with me.
Re: MT Bloopers II [Re: Lakelife] #17570
07/19/12 08:34 AM
07/19/12 08:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2
DFD
R
RobinMills Offline
Newbie Gabber
RobinMills  Offline
Newbie Gabber
R
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2
DFD
They are so funny!




------------------------------
The Vampire Diaries Season 3 DVD
NCIS Season 9 DVD


RobinMills
Re: MT Bloopers II [Re: francissand360] #18590
01/02/13 08:16 AM
01/02/13 08:16 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
Karnataka, India
J
Jammy05 Offline
Newbie Gabber
Jammy05  Offline
Newbie Gabber
J
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
Karnataka, India
Oh felt very funny reading this. Even when i forwarded this to my friends, they couldnt stop laughing until they had pain in stomach. So much funny lol......

Re: MT Bloopers II [Re: Jammy05] #18867
05/30/13 04:53 PM
05/30/13 04:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 6
WA
S
Syrah Offline
Newbie Gabber
Syrah  Offline
Newbie Gabber
S
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 6
WA
LOL I just got done sending in the dreaded quiz 30 for AHPMT, and needed a good laugh. If it weren't for the person sleeping in the other room I would have laughed loud and hard! Instead I had to attempt not to laugh while feeling like bursting.... Thanks I Needed That!!! lol wavey

Re: MT Bloopers II [Re: Syrah] #18977
04/06/14 10:29 PM
04/06/14 10:29 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 4
Oregon
L
Lisa3562 Offline
Newbie Gabber
Lisa3562  Offline
Newbie Gabber
L
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 4
Oregon
Holy cow. These are hysterical! My ribs are killing me.

Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  SOMara 





Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.1.1
(Release build 20180111)
Page Time: 0.028s Queries: 15 (0.008s) Memory: 0.9967 MB (Peak: 1.1581 MB) Zlib disabled. Server Time: 2022-12-10 01:55:48 UTC